You think you know pain
by TamaraJagellovsk
Summary: "If you fail, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can not find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain." What happened to Loki between "Thor" and "Avengers"? From the way he looks and moves when he appears at S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm sure it wasn't anything good. Whump


**Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Reviews are love!**

Loki has no way of measuring how long he's falling. It's utterly dark around him, and freezing cold. The last thing he perceives before he loses consciousness is a brutal impact on an unyielding surface – and the sound of every single bone in his body breaking at the same time.

The pain doesn't register until he wakes up. It's universal. If he had the strength, and the breath, he would scream. As it is, all he can do is lay motionless, his eyes closed, and try to take shallow breaths. It's still cold around him, the ground he lays on is cold, too, and probably solid stone. And he knows for sure that he'll go insane very, very soon.

And then all of a sudden the pain is gone. He still can't move, but breathing is no longer a problem and nothing hurts. Relief so great that it brings tears to his eyes floods his whole being. He finds himself mouthing "Thank you" to whoever has granted him that mercy – and just as suddenly all the pain is back.

It only lasts a second this time, and then it's gone again. Loki hears a voice so close by that at first he thinks it's in his head. Maybe he has gone insane already? The voice is low, raspy, almost physically painful to listen to:

"Do you understand my power, Jotun?"

"Who are you?"

Pain. Universal, mind crashing pain, and this time Loki does scream although he doesn't know how that's even possible. His scream dies out when the pain vanishes. He's panting, sweat running down his face despite the cold. He tastes blood. The voice says:

"Wrong question, Jotun. The question you should be asking is 'What do you want me to do?'"

Time passes. With the absence of light, and drifting in and out of consciousness it's impossible to tell how much. The pain is back, but his injuries are starting to heal. The voice comes and goes, and often Loki isn't sure if it's really there or part of his feverish dreams. Sometimes he answers, sometimes he doesn't. If the pain gets worse he's almost sure the voice was real and he was expected to answer. So he does.

"Your own father banished you."

"Odin isn't my father."

"I am not referring to the Asgardian. Your father, Laufey, king of Jotunheim, deemed you not strong enough. Odin pitied you. Thor doesn't trust you."

There's nothing he can say.

As soon as he feels a bit stronger he reaches into his mind for his abilities, the way his mother - the way Frigga taught him all those years ago. There's nothing. He panics, then takes an almost pain free breath and tries again. Still nothing. He focuses harder. If it's there, somewhere in the distance, he can't reach it. He mentally takes a step back. Tries again. He tries again and again until what little strength he had is used up. He's physically exhausted and dangerously close to panic again.

They make him stand the moment he can sit up, and walk the moment he can stand. He's miles away from his usual grace and speed, barely able to keep himself upright, when they send him on a walk through their barren, pitch dark world. He stumbles, falls, hurts his knees and hands. Gets up. He knows what they are doing. He knows why they are doing it. And yet it works. He can feel himself break, yield, submit. The tone of his internal dialogue has long since changed from angry and rebellious to subdued and obedient. He hates it, but he knows where it's going. Whatever it is that they want from him - they will get it. It's just a matter of how much pain and suffering he's willing – and able – to take before it happens. He falls once more, and no voice orders him back on his feet. The pain isn't worse than it's to be expected. They have either given up on him, or he's reached his destination. When he hears the voice he knows it's the latter:

"We need an agent to infiltrate your dimension."

A shiver runs down Loki's spine. It isn't glee or even excitement. It's sheer terror. He freezes on his hands and knees. His dimension is at stake. Literally everything. The Nine Realms. Time. Space. Everything he holds dear. Everyone he loves. A bitter laugh escapes him. The line isn't exactly very long. Belatedly he realizes his mistake as the now familiar pain rushes into his body.

"I'm sorry", he groans. "Please forgive my insolence."

Head bowed. They trained him well. The pain ebbs away. Slowly. Making a point. He gets it. Keeping his head down he says as softly as he can:

"Please continue."

"Once the portal is established, our army will take over your dimension. The designated entry point is a planet that calls itself Earth. If you fulfill your task to our satisfaction, we will leave it to you to rule as you see fit. Should you fail…"

The air tightens around him. The pressure on his whole body heightens to a point where he fears his nearly healed bones will break again.

"In case you are trying to deceive us, know that we have means to prevent it."

Something invades him. His mind and soul. His core. The now empty place where his powers used to be, and he's naked and defenseless in the cold darkness. They know him. They own him. A feeling of despair takes hold of him, so deep and universal that he barely remembers who he was before.

"Please", he whispers, tears running down his face. "I won't. I pledge my loyalty to you."

The monstrous presence retreats. But it doesn't leave, lurking in the background of his mind. He knows for a fact that it won't, not until he succeeds. If he's lucky.


End file.
